A little of this, a little of that.

Howdy. It's been awhile. How is everyone?

So I noticed it's been about a year since my last post. Sorry 'bout that. I can't promise that I'll be posting more frequently or starting this back up or anything, but I've had some thoughts in the ol' noggin that I've wanted to get out, and hopefully out of my head for awhile.

I thought about posting one of the ideas on Facebook. But I really didn't want to get a huge debate going between my uber-right wing friends and my more liberal friends. I've seen it happen. I've participated. It never ends well.

Repealing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is a total slap in the face to the homosexuals. It was a patronizing and dismissive move that only attempted to placate the LGBT community, while trying to side-step the issue of gay weddings. It was the dangling carrot intended to string them along to the 2012 elections, while doing little to actually work towards equal rights.

Was there really a major outcry among gays in the military to repeal this? I haven't heard a word about any petitions, demonstrations, or other requests to military personnel or the commander in chief to end the oppressive "don't ask, don't tell" requirement.

And really, why would there be? Do you really think there's a large contingency of homosexuals over in Iraq or Afghanistan who are thinking "you know, the only thing that sucks about this place is that I can't tell everyone I'm gay"?

I doubt it.

Just for fun, pretend that you're gay and in the military, in any position at any place in the world, and you're now free to openly express your homosexuality. You really think you're just going to turn to your commanding officer and nonchalantly tell him that you're into dudes? Most likely not.

Let's face it, a large percentage of our military comes from urban and rural areas - places that are generally poor, with few options for a "career". I think it's safe to say that when a group of guys like that get together, insulting someone by them a "fag" is quite commonplace, even used in a derogatory way to express a sense of feminine qualities.

If you ARE gay, do you really think you're going to come out of the closet while you're in a combat zone? Most likely not.

I went to a small, very conservative college. There were people we knew were gay. And you know what? they were. But they didn't feel comfortable coming out until after they had left that place - a place where homosexuality was looked down upon (in this case, as a sin, rather than as a connotation of one's masculinity). And that's fine.

Now, the ideal is that such openness will foster in a greater understanding and tolerance. And I hope that to be true. And I think it can....slowly. A change like that is a change in mentality, a complete shift of cultural instinct almost.

Now please, don't get me wrong. I think "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is bad policy. Anything akin to an ostrich sticking its head in the sand is probably not a sustainable or intelligent way of dealing with an issue. Besides, it does leave a bad taste in the mouth, and should be overturned.

But to make such fanfare out of it? For a standing ovation during the State of the Union? It just reeks of grandstanding and cheap politics. But at this point, should I really expect better of our elected officials? Or am I just setting myself up for disappointment if I actually expect them to do something for the right reasons?

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On the lighter side of things, I just want to throw my two cents into the whole Conan/Late Night/Jay Leno thing.

When the idea came up of moving Jay to 11:35, and bumping Conan (with the name The Tonight Show) back to 12:05, I never heard anyone make the most logical argument there:

YOU CAN'T CALL IT THE TONIGHT SHOW ANYMORE IF IT COMES ON THE NEXT DAY!!!!

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On a personal note...things are really going well right now. I don't want to jinx anything, but 2010 already has kicked the shit out of 2009.

Lost....

If you don't watch Lost, or you're not 100% caught up, don't read this. 

So here are some things I've been able to put together this season:

The first hatch with Desmond, the hatch, the computer, etc....that actually DID serve a purpose. It housed the bomb found by the Dharma Initiative in the 1950s - encased in lead, it required someone to vent the gas every 108 minutes. 

Know how Richard seems ageless to us? That relationship of character to agelessness exists with more people:

Sayed to Ben - little Ben comes to visit Sayed in prison 

Locke to Richard- Locke visits Richard in the 50s, Richard witnesses Locke's birth in the 60s, Richard and Locke meet up in the 90s...

I'm sure there are/will be more - Jack's dad has interacted with several characters throughout - but those are some I've noticed. 

Does this really answer anything? No. 

But I think it does give credence to the idea of destiny and course correction.

Other things I've noticed. 

The second plane - the one that brought Jack, Hurly, Sayed, Kate, etc. back to the island. A ton of similarities to the first group. 

A middle eastern male is on the plane = Sayed

Sayed = Fugitive in handcuffs. 

This leads me to believe that Kate HAD to have been on the island before. Before the crash with our original cast. 

All this has happened before. All will happen again. 

Now.....what does all this mean in the bigger picture? 

I HAVE NO FRAKKING IDEA!!!!!!

This is too much to ask for?

And meeting someone new? All the nodding and smiling and sibling listing? And what's the upside? It works and you have to have a bunch of sex? 

Lemon, what do you want? Do you want to be alone for the rest of your life? 

No! I just wish I could start a relationship about 12 years in, when you really don't have to try anymore and you can just sit around together and goof on TV shows. And you can just go to bed without anyone trying any funny business.  

Swoon!!! Tina! I'm your man!!!! 

Yes, like 99.99999% of the nerd population, I have a crush on Tina Fey.

Movies and cooking

How goes everything people? Or, person. I think Deutlich is really the only person who reads this. So how goes it my favorite blog lady?!?

The other day I did one of my favorite things to do. I went and caught two movies during the day. First up - Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Or, as the movie theater I went to listed it, Zack and Miri. 

Now, I've seen several "gross out" flicks in the theaters during the day, and one thing I've always noticed is that almost always, someone gets offended and walks out. So when I go see movies like this, I try to get there a little bit early and people watch. Specifically, watching out for "walk out candidates". 

These are generally older people. Why they're going to a movie they have no idea about is beyond me, but it happens. During American Wedding, a cute older couple made it to the chocolate truffle scene. Now I try to think of what brought them to this movie. They obviously had no idea what the movie was about, so I'm assuming they just saw "American Wedding" as the title, thought that sounded sweet, and bought two tickets. This baffles me, but to each their own. 

So when the cute, older couple walked in right before the previews and sat in my row, I was sure I found my winners. I figured they saw "Zack and Miri" and figured: "Oh cute. I bet this is the sequel to Harold and Maude!". So when the full title came up on the screen, I figured this might be the walk out point. But no, they stuck in. 

And I'll tell you what, they laughed harder than just about anyone in the theater. I was pleasantly surprised, and I really hope I can be that cool when I get older. 

As for the movie - I really liked it. Kevin Smith isn't everyone's cup of tea. I was a huge fan during the Clerks/Mallrats/Chasing Amy days, and it was hard for me to come to grips with the fact that his last few movies have been pretty disappointing. So while I hoped for this to be good, I was hopeful that it would exceed my expectations. And it did. 

There was a perfect blend of Kevin's witty dialogue, gross-out humor, dick-and-fart jokes, and a heaping helping of tenderness as well. Many will say that Kevin tried to rip off the Apatow formula. Arguments could be made that Apatow really ripped off Kevin Smith's style, but that's another topic for another time. 

One thing that Kevin was about to do better than Judd was create a touching story that you really cared about the lead couple. I couldn't give two shits about the couple in Knocked Up ending happily ever after, but you always find yourself pulling for Zack and Miri.

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The second movie I saw was Role Models. Yes, I was going for a completely immature movie day. Sue me. 

I laughed my ass off during the trailers for this, so I had somewhat high hopes, but in the back of my mind I kept trying to convince myself that it was going to suck, and all the best parts were in the trailer. 

I enjoyed it quite a bit. The previews are good, but there's a lot more here to keep you laughing. The first act is slow to start and not too funny, but once it really gets going, it's a fun ride. 

But I gotta bring it back to a point I made earlier. When I was in line for tickets, there were a ton of people standing around, deciding on a movie to see. And when I bought my ticket, a guy standing next to me taps me on the shoulder and asks what Role Models is about. He was trying to decide on a movie to see, and had no idea what this movie was about. He was really considering seeing a movie he knew nothing about. 

He was on his cell phone, I assume talking to his wife. He was mid-30s, looked like he walked out of a J.Crew after getting the Fall Package. I can only assume that his wife was bringing the kids. 

So I tried to describe it. "Two guys get in arrested, and have to go work with troubled kids to avoid jail". 

Then I thought for a split second, turned back to him and said "It's very much an R-rated movie." 

In hindsight, I should have left that last part out. I could have single-handedly caused my own walk out candidates. 

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This morning I was thinking about what I wanted to make with some chicken I had thawing. I settled on BBQ chicken, mashed potatoes, and corn. 

When I cook, I like to make dishes that you can blend together and eat out of a bowl. Chicken, rice, some spinach, and corn is a perfect example. Plus it makes it easy to put it in one container and bring for lunch the next day.

Note to self for future: Do not mix BBQ Chicken, mashed potatoes, and corn together. It just looks like vomit. 

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On a serious note, someone I work with got a call this week at work that I hope no one ever has to get. His house was on fire. 

By the time he got there, everything was gone. Fire fighters were still putting out the fire, but it was clear that nothing would be saved. Family memories, clothes, everything was gone. 

Luckily his wife was also at work, so no one was hurt. 

This guy is one of the nicest persons I've ever met. He'd be the first one to help out if something was wrong, and for this to happen to him is awful. 

He has family and friends in the area to stay with. But just knowing that you've got nothing but your car and the clothes on your back is incredibly surreal. 

Good luck Jay. You've got plenty of people willing to help you with whatever you need. 

Addiction

So its been over 8 days now, and no cigarettes. 

I even took off the patch for about 5 hours last night. It didn't feel any better or worse than when I'm wearing it. I don't exactly know what that means. 

I've "quit" smoking before. Twice for 6 months. And every time I knew that I was done for good. Hell, after 4 months with no cigarettes, what reason would I have to ever go back? 

But I did. Two months after saying that I consciously went into a store and bought a pack of cigarettes. Then another. Repeat cycle for, what 6 more years? 

So where did I go wrong previously? Was it letting my guard down before buying that first pack? Did I let the stress of coming to realizing that the relationship I was in was not one that I wanted to continue? Did I simply take for granted all the hard work and dedication during that first hard month?

Or maybe just underestimated how addiction works. 

I think about smoking every day. I think about how much I loved going outside and enjoying 3-5 minutes of being outside and smoking. Just thinking about it makes me want to have a cigarette. I know my sister has one sitting upstairs. 

But I'm not going to. 

Because that one leads me to another. a month later I'll be buying two cartons a month. 

I'm addicted to smoking. I don't even think its just nicotine. Its everything about smoking, the entire routine. If there was a "safe" cigarette, I would never ever ever quit. 

But there's not. 

It may be an urban myth, but I'm sure you've heard of "studies" that say quitting smoking can be as difficult as quitting heroin. I can't say I know the horrors of heroin withdrawal and I'm not about to sign up for a trial study. 

Almost all of the addiction rehab tries to "cure" you of your addiction, or "beat" it. "Overcome" your desire to smoke. "Destroy" nicotine's grip over your life.

How many times did I say that I had "quit" smoking? And yet, here I am again....trying to "quit" smoking. 

I think I was fooling myself before that I had actually quit or overcome my desire to smoke. Thinking that I had beat it. Because clearly I had not. 

So this time around, I'm looking at it another way. I'm accepting my addiction. 

I am a smoker. I will always want to smoke. If I start smoking again, I will love everything that I have always loved about smoking, and will tolerate all of the side effects. The rewards are worth the risks. 

And that's why I'm trying to refrain from saying that I've "quit" smoking. Much like a recovering alcoholic will ALWAYS be an alcoholic, I will always be a smoker. 

So like an alcoholic, I know that I want to smoke. That will always be a part of me. And that's what has to drive me to not smoke even one cigarette. 

I still honor my 8 AM "smoke break" with my friend from work. Sometimes I don't want to smoke, but sometimes I do. I think about asking her for a drag, or to bum a smoke. 

But I know that just one of those will bring me back into the fray, and I'll indulge my smoker side again. 

Will I ever smoke again? I don't know. But I didn't yesterday and I won't today. I just gotta take it a day at a time. 8 days down. 1 to go. 

Tomorrow. 

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I saw Moira today for the first time since I quit smoking. She is as beautiful and happy as ever. She stood on my lap and played with my Michigan hat. She used my pant leg to pull herself up. And I didn't have to leave at a commercial break to go have a cigarette.  

It's been 15 hours....

....since my last cigarette. 

I've been a smoker for about 10 years now. For the past 5-6 years, I was a pack a day. It was something I enjoyed, and a nice way to separate yourself from work for a few minutes at a time. It got me outside, enjoying a nice day, and spending time playing with Kaya. 

But then there's also the bad times - rainy days. The cold wind in winter. The cost. When you're sick but still need a nicotine fix. The nasty cough and phlegm in the mornings. The smell. The pressure from family and friends. Cancer. Death.

These are things that all smokers know about, but continue to do anyway. We know the dangers, we see the nasty looks we get from non-smokers as they walk past us. And we continue to do it. Its a stress reliever, and sometimes the only way to keep your sanity in a crazy world. 

Over the past 10 years, I've tried to quit several times. Some attempts lasted only a few hours. Some a few days or weeks. Twice I've quit for 6 months at a time, but always went back. 

If I ever got the chance to travel back in time, I think one of the first things I'd do is go back to the little 14 year old version of me, right before I tried my first cigarette, and I'd beat the living shit out of myself. 

But now, I realize its time to quit for good. Yes, I've said that before, and meant it, but I realize that this cannot continue. I've been wanting to quit for a few months now, but always found an excuse to put it off. I'll do it on my birthday. I'll do it after all the End-of-Fiscal year crap is done. I'll do it when my Smoke Buddy at work takes the new job in November. I'll do it before Thanksgiving. By Christmas I'm going to quit. New Years Resolution time!

I can't keep pushing it back. Last night, around 6 PM, I smoked my last cigarette. I'm on the patch now, and feeling good about it. Yes, there have been several times I've wanted to go out and have a smoke. But I didn't. Last night I had a dream about being in a movie theater where I was smoking. This morning I wanted to have that first puff of the morning, to get the day going. I didn't. And I don't plan on it. I slapped on a new nicotine patch, and went about my day. 

I guess one of the major turning points was my best friend having a child about 9 months ago. It hit me a bit ago that sooner rather than later, she's going to be able to form complete thoughts, talk, and realize that "Uncle Cheese" smells funny. And he goes outside a lot when he's spending time with Mom and Dad. And she's going to see me smoking when we're hanging out together. 

I don't want that. Its not fair to her parents to have me be around their child smelling of smoke all the time. Its not fair to them that they have to have to talk to her about what Uncle Cheese is doing, and why its bad. How could she ever look up to me knowing that I'm doing something bad? That's not fair to her either. 

She's 9 months old and I've never held her. I've never asked, because I know the reason why. They've never offered to let me hold her, and I know the reason why. 

So now I have a reason beyond just my own health and well-being to think about, and added incentive to quit. 

It's time. 

Thank you Moira. 

Indiana Jones and the Proof that George Lucas Sucks

If you haven't seen the new Indiana Jones movie yet, don't read any further. I'll spoil things for you that really, no person should ever have to see. 

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The first 30 minutes of this abomination truly set the pace for what's to come. Horrible acting, green screen when its totally unneeded, and a hint of technology that in no way should exist in the 1950s. Oh, and Cate Blanchett giving one of the worst performances of her entire career. What was with the accent? Did that part really require a "big name" or "respected" actress like Cate? Couldn't they have hired a hot Russian chick for that role, like they did in Last Crusade? That was part of the fun of Indiana Jones - it felt authentic. Granted, it did have numerous cartoon-y moments throughout the series, but you always felt like Indy and his gang were always THERE. This was littered with green screen and CGI crap - similar to why Terminator 3 was so bad. 

Then, Shia LaBeouf makes his appearance. I think they were going for "tough guy greaser/motorcycle bad ass". What it looked and felt like was "the cop from the Village People". All he needed was a bushy mustache. 

Once they get going on their adventure, the movie is actually fairly tolerable. For about 30 minutes. Then you get to the jungle car/boat/vine chase. Seriously. A car-boat. And Shia swinging like Tarzan with a group of monkeys who somehow realize that Shia is a good guy, and Russians are bad guys. That's not even to mention the sword fight that occurs between Mr. LaBeouf and Cate Blanchett. While they're both standing on the hood of two cars. That are driving pretty quickly. Through the jungle. But don't worry - no one was hurt during filming these scenes because THE ENTIRE THING WAS GREEN SCREEN!!! 

And then, you come to the big finish. 

Aliens. 

Really? Aliens?!?!

My head hurts, and I cannot believe how much George Lucas and Steven Spielberg suck for making this movie. There was no need for it. There was a little hope from fans that it WOULD be made, but I don't think anyone would really lose any sleep if it didn't get made. But they knew that if they DID make it, fanboys would come running. I mean, it worked for the Star Wars prequels, right? 

Make crap with computers, make a shit ton of money. 

I can't wait for the next installment - Indiana Jones and the Quest for a Decent Movie. 

I'm not holding out much hope.